The Bulletin

From underneath a rock in Media Void

MEDIA VOID - The Bulletin is the official weekly rag, fish wrapper, voice, mouthpiece and media outlet of the Big Daddy Football League (BDFL). The Bulletin originates each week from underneath a rock in Media Void. According to Mr. Webster, 'living under a rock" means to be oblivious, or ignorant, to what happens in the outside world. It is used to describe a person who doesn’t know something that any "normal" human being is supposed to know, usually in relation to recent, or current, events. In the BDFL, Media Void is a fictitious city in a fictitious country which is free from all types of media and information, where everybody in the city-state wanders aimlessly around uninformed about everything from the news, to weather, to sports and politics. The Bulletin is located in Media Void to help serve this community.

Outscoring your opponent is the name of the game

Grenadiers Shell Shocked by Bell Heads:

The Mineral Springs Grenadiers scored 34-points in Week Two in the Big Daddy Football League, and lost. The Commissioner’s team apparently did everything right, and lost. Old Iron Hand complained to the cyber world about scoring so many points, and still lost. So, it was not a good weekend for the Grenadiers, as they lost to the Fieldstown Bellcows, 40-34. As for the victorious Bell Heads, it was a fantastic weekend. The Bellcows scored at will in fantasy football action and served notice that they could be a team to be reckoned with in 2025. The Bulletin has learned that Belrose has utilized forces of N.I.L. and transfer portal variations and outright bribery to bring some Fultondale “ringers” to help out this season. No confirmation has surfaced yet, but names being heard and seen on social media include: Frankie Horton, Lynn Hurst, Greg Rovi, Donnie Headley, Philip Loden, and Jack Hazilrig. Stand by for more details as the season progresses, including a possible move to a domed stadium in Fultondale, Lewisburg, or Lower Coalburg for the Bellcows.  

Cronies Crush Dillos:

This was almost an “award winning” game. The Magic City Mayors almost earned the Top Dog prize with a near BDFL weekly high point total of 39. On the other sideline, the Duncanville Armadillos picked up the Toilet Seat team of the weak award with a paltry 9-points. The game was an official A.W. It was the only A.W. in Week Two in the Big Daddy Football League. The Magic City Mayors rebounded from a tough opening week game, and played one of their best games in recent memory. The Cronies were good in all aspects of the game plan, and drubbed the team from Duncanville. K.P.’s team couldn’t get outta their own way against the Mayors, and that led directly to a whipping of epic proportions, commonly known as an A.W.  

Sloths Outscore Wildcats:

In another high-scoring affair, the Sloth Monsters outscored the Western Hills Wildcats 37-36 in Week Two action in the BDFL. This one was a barn burner. The “James Gang” felt the same pain as the Commish… scoring in the 30’s and still losing. The Wildcats jumped out front early, but could not “hold” the lead. The Three Toed Tree Dwellers stormed back to move ahead on the scoreboard, and then surprisingly and ironically… were able to “hold on” down the stretch to pick up the vict’ry. Surprisingly… because Mukes team is defensively oriented. Ironically… because the Sloths only have three fingers on each hand, and no opposable thumbs. Note: The Bulletin is attempting to correct this 30-year mistake of calling them plausible thumbs, instead of the correct terminology, which is “opposable thumbs.” Mukes and his supporters were also able to hold onto some cold Pony’s after the game to celebrate, but they are relatively small.

Bandits Beaten by Blitz:

The Altadena Bandits couldn’t pick up the Blitz, and were sacked in the late stages of their game, and ended up losing to the Druid City Blitz, 33-24, in a hard-fought game between two evenly matched teams in Week Two. These two continued the trend of some high-scoring games early in the 2025 BDFL season. The “Gritz Blitz” were tenacious on both sides of the ball and were able to wear down the Bandits. At a few key junctures in the game, the Banditos looked lethargic and were waiting for someone else to “make a play.” Some eye-witness accounts point to a lack of conditioning for the Bandits, and word reached Old Barry… and he had his team out early Tuesday morning doing toughies, three-man rolls, running stadiums, and vintage Coach T.K. Morton sled drills (with or without the B.S. was hard to be determined from the onlookers at a distance.)  

Gamblers Score in the 30’s to Stop Sleds:

Speaking of Sleds, the Fairfield PowerSleds were slowed, marred, derailed, and eventually stopped by the Gulf Coast Gamblers in Week Two. The final score read: Gamblers 32 – Sleds 27. So, add that to another team that tallied a decent amount of points, but still lost this past weekend in BDFL action. The “Mean Machine” made some plays, but not enough plays to notch a vict’ry on the Gulf Coast. As for the “Dixie Mafia,” they are rolling in the early stages of the 2025 BDFL season. The team is winning games, covering spreads, collecting “juice,” and tourism has jumped ever since the renaming of the Gulf of America. So… look out for the “Real Deal” this year.  

Dogs Are Victors Over Vulcans:

The Brookside Dogs didn’t score 30, but 29 was good enough to defeat the North Birmingham Vulcans by ten. The defending champions did get their starters in on time this week, after receiving a reprieve from the Commissioner in Week One. So much for ruling with an Iron Hand. However, in Week Two, Uncle Chris couldn’t save Nic and his Vulcans from “Mark’s Mutts.” The Dogs barked loudly in this one echoing a harbinger of Springsteen’s Promised Land. “Well, the dogs on Main Street howl, ‘cause they understand. If I could take one moment into my hands. Mister, I ain’t a boy. No, I’m a man. And, I believe in a Promised Land.” In this way, the Dogs picked up a vict’ry and the “young, but naïve,” Vulcans succumbed to defeat.

Cheetahman Pistol-Whips The Bullerino:

“I tried my best to live the right way. I get up every morning, go to work each day. But, your eyes go blind and your blood runs cold. Sometimes, I just want to explode.” (More from the Promised Land) The Cheetahs exploded. The Bullets imploded. This one was never close. The Benton Bullets spent much of the weekend with zero points, before finally notching a few points… ten to be exact. The Bullets trailed from wire-to-wire. The Southside Cheetahs executed their game plan to near perfection, and ran away with a 28-10 vict’ry over the Black Belt Boys. The 2025 season has started out as a borderline disaster for the Bullerino, and it looks like it could be a long season. Meanwhile, there’s dancing in the streets again in Southside, and it looks like it might take an operation to get the smile of the faces of the Cheetah faithful.  

‘Nauts Shoot the Birds:

In the closest game of the weekend, the Jugtown Juggernauts upended the Fultondale Freebirds, 21-19. It was a big win for the ‘Nauts and a tough loss to take for the F’birds. Allyson says her team will celebrate for about 48-hours before looking ahead to next week. For “Jamin’ Jaimie” his team is taking a close look in the mirror this week, trying to stop the finger pointing, and looking to regroup for the remainder of the season. “From this point forward,” said Hime, “we’ll figure out what we’re made of… and I hope it’s not sugar, and spice, and all things nice.”  

Week 2 in the JrBDFL – “It’s all about the kids.”

Not a lot of details are available from the Junior League. I guess all of the JrBDFLers are studying or hard at work at their jobs. The Commissioner – Matthew Hand – suffered a blow out loss, and in a sibling rivalry… Milton Hand defeated Meredith Hand in the cyber-world of the JrBDFL.

W1TB  W2TB