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“Woo enacted his own occupational tax and taxed the Mayors for breathing the clean air of Blount County, collecting a vict’ry, and sending the Cronies back south looking for some government cheese"

From Underneath The Rock in Media Void

By Bullet Head

Week 7 in the BDFL...

The Dogs keep on barking loud

(Brookside)—Oh my goodness, look at what the Dog drug in. Mark’s Mutts drug the pitiful Pelham Blades from Coalburg, to Cardiff, to Crocker Junction this Sunday administering an old-fashioned, backyard, woodshed whipping to L.A.’s finest. The A.W. has to be one of the highlights in the much-maligned history of the Dogs and they just may have crept into contention in the old proverbial Green Horn Division.

Bullets rip through the teepee dwellers

(Black Crick)—Bullet’s winning streak hit three straight this weekend as the Bullerino “ripped a new one” in younger brother Hime. The Woodies may have a large point total, a big tee-pee and some other large products but they still have problems when the weather turns cold and when the “hot shot” Boys from Benton come to town. After beginning the season 0-4, Bullet’s team has rebounded behind a solid philosophy of shooting first and asking questions later. And according to published reports, the Bullets plan to finish the season with a 45-calibur, sawed-off shot gun with shells made of buckshot and ACME wet sand. Look for more on target shots from the Bullerino for the season is through.

For Bullet’s post-game comments click here: http://www.thebdfl.net/03TheBullisticReport.htm

Bootleggers take the walking wounded to the woodshed

(No Teeth, Tenn.)—“I’m free, free-falling,” could be the words coming out of the Grenades camp this weekend. The Cockstuds took such a beating this weekend up in Toothless, Tennessee that they had to rent a helicopter to put savve on their wounds. Pistol thought he was getting another “all expenses paid trip to the Thunderdome,” and what he got instead was a big old A.W. The Wood Brothers out-homered, out-ran, and out-drank the Commish and now old Rusted Iron has to come to the conclusion that there is no way he is going to win his first BDFL Championship in 2003. In fact, signs in Iron’s “war room” read “wait till next year.” Kind of just like the Red Sox and the Cubs.

Haymakers manhandle the Mayors

(Hayden)—Tommy T. welcomed the “tax and spend, pencil-pushing, red tape cronies” to Blount County this weekend with a “jap slap” that had the Mayors spinning counter-clockwise toward the abyss. After the dizziness wore off the Woo Crew threw a couple of body blows to A.A., and then hit him where it hurts, the wallet. Woo enacted his own occupational tax and taxed the Mayors for breathing the clean air of Blount County, collecting a vict’ry, and sending the Cronies back south looking for some government cheese.

Sleds scorch the Rice Burners

(Gardendale)—Despite the protests to the First Baptist Church in Gardendale (and every other church in Jugtown, for that matter) the PowerSleds held a concert in Rocket Stadium. They rocked a sold-out crowd and then snuck out of town with something no Fairfield club had ever done. They left Gardendale with a vict’ry, hauling it away in the back of a Honda CRV. Said Jack, “Everybody thinks I’m from Gardendale. And, it seemed like I had a home-field advantage with all of the concert fans vs. the staunch right-wingers, and it paid off in a big win.”

Did the Sloths really drop to 0-7?

(Greystone)—Ambulances left the Tea & Crumpet Coliseum this weekend with Parks and Mukes both riding in the back. Eyewitnesses said the preceding game between the Sloth Monsters and the Wizards was just like Rocky II. Both the Monsters and Merlin hit the canvas at the same time. At press time… no one knew who got up first, or if anyone got up at all. Parks allegedly suffered injuries to his rear end and re-fractured his old Russ Wood fingers, and Mukes had cuts on his forehead and gums. Wizards win the tie on Dunn's 69 yd run: Sloths drop to a league record low of 0-7

Dixie Mafia proves they are the "Real Deal"

(Riverchase)—The Cheetahs are unlike any former Cheetah team this year. However, that didn’t stop the Gamblers from ransacking the Den of Sin. The Real Deal proved again this weekend, that his moniker is not only a nickname, but a way in which he does business. And, even though they worked in a little pleasure – at the expense (a dollar a piece) of the Cheetah – they took care of business, getting a valuable “road vict’ry” against the Neal, not to be confused with the “Real Deal.”

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