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Rock in Media Void Week 2

The BDFL's Weekly Game Summaries

By Bob Bullet

The Bulletin – Week Two:

“Breaking rocks in the hot sun.  I fought the law and the law won.”

Who’s hot?

The Sloth Monsters.  The “Son of Slim” took Hime’s tomahawk and turned it around and used it against him this weekend, putting an AW on the Wooden Warriors, who – for once – are not getting off to a good start in the BDFL.  (Let’s go to the cliché closet.) The Sloths celebrated with chips and milk.

Who else is hot?

The Power Sleds.  Mad Jack’s elite forces came down like a thunderbolt from the overcast skies over Fairfield and struck fear into the hearts and eardrums of the Mayors in Week Two.  Honorable Mention: The Cheetahs.  The Sin Wagon rolled over the Commissioner’s Grenades on Sunday all up and down Green Springs Highway and of course down Valleydale right up to Sammy’s.

Who’s not?

All the Hand boys (see above) and the Bullets whose running backs went scoreless on Monday Night Football, enabling the Gamblers to steal a vict’ry while Bullerino sat at the Beau Rivage blackjack tables for 6 or 9 consecutive hours. 

Stat of the week:

PK Skobee (Bootleggers – Jaguars) 3 FGs.  That’s not as many points as some other kickers (or players) in Week Two, but those 9 BDFL points put the Bunch from No Teeth, Tennessee ahead of the Woosiers for a MNF come-from-behind vict’ry against the Red Neck Division rivals.  [The Bulletin FUN FACT: The Steelers were shut out for the first time in 55 MNF games.]

Quote of the week:

“When do I get to play the Commish?” asked several BDFL Owners and General Managers.  They meant NOT act like the commissioner, but when does their team get to play Iron’s woebegone Grenades.

Quote of the WEAK:

From the Commissioner by way of Alice in Chains:

“Layin’ low/Want to take it slow/No more hiding or disguising truths I’ve sold.

Everyday it’s something/Hits me all so cold/Find me sittin’ by myself, no excuses, then I know.
It’s okay/Had a bad day/Hands are bruised from breaking rocks all day.”

The Bulletin doesn’t know if Chris was lamenting his AW at the hands of the Cheetahs, the AW the Titans received on Sunday, or the time he and Jaimie had to break red (churt) rock in the driveway following orders from D.K.

Edspiration:

“I wish she was a boy,” Ed said about the Juggernauts GM who was nothing less than a dominating factor for the GHS Rockets volleyball and basketball teams of the early ‘80’s.  Too bad that has not translated to BDFL performance, where in Week Two the Dogs were able to sneak up behind the ‘Nauts and sneak away with the vict’ry.  A.E. didn’t know what happened until she glanced up and saw one of Ed’s vintage cut-off, shimmy shirts with the following words written in Sharpie: “I know how to lie, cheat, and steal… I’m from Brookside.”

Play of the week:

In overtime, Eli Manning hits Plaxico Burress (Slovaks – Giants) for a 31-yard TD strike good for 3-BDFL points giving the Fighting Slovaks the margin of vict’ry over the Wizards (15-14) and causing more pain from past pixie dust defeats at the hands of the Euro-invaders, including a 4-2 defeat in the BDFL (the lowest, worst score in the 11-year hist’ry of the league) and the Kick Off Cash debacle from the mid 1980’s.

“Out there” of the week:

The Blades are undefeated.  That’s got to be out there.  To quote Nuke Laloosh (Bull Durham), “It’s definitely out there.  It’s radical.”  Lyle’s South Shelby County weed-whackers edged the defending BDFL bridesmaids, the Wildcats this weekend

“Seinfeld Four” Sit-com moment:

Elaine: “He took it out.”

Jerry: “What?”

Elaine: “It.”

The Bulletin will refrain at this point about making any comment in relation to any member of the BDFL at this point (although you know who you are).

Kramer: “Sometimes they just need some air.  They can’t breathe in there.”

Reason #17 to be in the BDFL:

No designated hitter.  However, designated drafters are allowed at the annual Miller Genuine Draft each year.

Generation Next:

Just like the Tiffin’s of Red Bay, the leading candidates to take up the soccer-style (it’s never called that anymore) kicking duties in the historical genetic footsteps of their father (and uncle) at GHS are Bocephus’ three boys; Nicholas 11, Kevin 5, and Benjamin 2.  They all attended the Gardendale vs. Mortimer Jordan game under the Friday Night Lights at Driver Stadium with their dad, apparently with two-out-of-three of them fumbling with tees or kicking blocks during the game (it could have been M-M’s or Skittles).  Of course, they’ll have to get kicked out of Catholic school – John Carroll – to have a chance to suit up for the Rockets.

Next week:

The Benton Bullets try to rebound as they open their 2006 home schedule at Terry Leach Field at Bloch Park in Selma against the Rocky Ridge Wildcats.  Elsewhere, the Mayors, Nauts, and Wooden Warriors go in search of their first win of the season.

Quote of the

Week

From the Commissioner by way of Alice in Chains:
 

“Layin’ low/Want to take it slow/No more hiding or disguising truths I’ve sold.
Everyday it’s something/Hits me all so cold/Find me sittin’ by myself, no excuses, then I know.
It’s okay/Had a bad day/Hands are bruised from breaking rocks all day”
 

Back Bull 2006

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2005 Back Big Daddies: w1  w2  w3  w4  w5  w6  w7  w8  w9  w10  w11  w12  w13  w14  w15  w16  w17

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