The Bulletin

Week 10: Record “Lows” mark a cold week in the BDFL

Big Daddy Football League Set Back with Low Scores, Low-lights, Reaching Low Point:

The Bulletin usually “highlights” the good games first. This week, this award-winning publication is going the other direction, with the “lowlights.” The Bulletin is waiting for a response from the Elias Sports Bureau, the Baseball Encyclopedia, WARTS, and @$$, to see if this was the “lowest” point in the hist’ry of the Big Daddy Football League. It was a Low Point. Four franchises scored single-digits in Week 10 in the BDFL, and one of those teams actually WON a game, scoring less than 10 in Week 10. It was not pretty, and only four NFL teams had an “off” week, so… most of the BDFL teams had most of their regular starters, and it was still ugly. In fact, five other BDFL teams scored 17-points or less that past weekend in the nation’s premiere fantasy football league (and, LSWho failed to score a touchdown Saturday Night in Bryant-Denny Stadium and lost to the Crimson Tide, 20-9. Bama now leads that all time series over the Bengal Tigers by a margin of 58-27-5, and in “scary” Red Stick, the Tide leads the series: 30-10-2. So, LSWho is very pleased to see Bama getting dropped as one of their permanent SEC opponents. “Alabama could lose 30-straight in the series and it still wouldn’t be even,” – anonymous, or The Commissioner.)   [Note: see lyrics to Skynyrd’s Ballad of Curtis Lowe at the bottom.]  

Low Point: Vulcans Win 6-3 Snoozer vs. Bellcows:

The “Toilet Seat Team of the Weak,” comes up in the lead story in this week’s edition. That’s how bad some games were in the BDFL in Week 10. Like a traffic accident, The Bulletin just couldn’t look away. The North Birmingham Vulcans scored a paltry 6-points and they won a game against the Fieldstown Bellcows, 6-3. So, with no more drama, the Bell Heads take home the embarrassing loss and the toilet seat prize. Nic Hand and David Belrose were saying, “what about defense?” And, the Monday Night Football game only had a score of 10-7. But, this was still a “snoozer” of a game in fantasy football, and it may have set the BDFL back several years. However, it wasn’t the only low point this past week in the Big Daddy Football League.  

Low Point II: Bandits Score Four in Loss to Commish:

It’s been a season to forget for Old Barry and his turrible Altadena Bandits. Just when he thought things couldn’t get any worse, things got worse, and the Bandits scored just 4-points, and they were embarrassed by the Mineral Springs Grenadiers, 22-4. The Commissioner held a team to his old high school number (GHS 4), and still couldn’t pull off an A.W. However, it was a definitive win for the Grenadiers, and they’ll take it. But, in the overall scheme of things, this game was another low point for the 2025 season – and maybe all-time – in the BDFL.  

Low Point III: ‘Nauts Administered A.W. by Cheetahs:

The last of the single-digit teams in Week 10 in the BDFL was the Jugtown Juggernauts. The ‘Nauts DID receive an A.W. as part of their lackluster performance. Allyson’s team scored 9-points and they were administered an A.W. at the paws of the Southside Cheetahs. This one was never close. The Sin Wagon rolled over A.E. like gravy over rice, like Sherman over Atlanta, and like water over Niagara Falls. The ‘Nauts simply had no answer to slow down the Cheetahs. “It might have been a low point for the other team,” said an elated Butch Neal. “But, it was a high point for the Southside Cheetahs, and we are ready for the stretch run in the BDFL. Bring it on!”  

Bullets Bashed by BioCats in A.W. Fashion:

The A.W.’s might have got lost in the “low point” theme of this week’s The Bulletin. So, just let the record indicate that there were a number of @$$-whippings in the BDFL this past weekend. The count comes to three. The middle child of the A.W.’s in Week 10 belongs to the Benton Bullets, who took it on the chin – and on the backside – from the Western Hills Wildcats. The “James Gang” broke out the whippin’ post, er whip, on the beleaguered Bullets down on the banks of the Alabama River, in the Black Belt. The BioCats got double-digit points from a running back and a defense (Seattle) and bashed the Bullets in a proverbial blowout.  

A.W. Number Three – Freebirds Slaughter Sleds:

In the third A.W. of Week 10 in the BDFL, the Fultondale Freebirds slaughtered the Fairfield PowerSleds, 44-16, at the standing-room-only Dolodome. The home town fans were severely disappointed by their Sleds, and went home complaining about their coach and their quarterback and their lack of big plays. The sneaky Freebirds have quietly been good all season, but it hasn’t translated to as many wins as Hime Hand would like, but maybe the “worm is starting to turn.” The F’Birds were clicking on all cylinders this past weekend, and the results was an A.W. over a pretty good Sleds team – despite what their fans think. The “Mean Machine” will undoubtedly go back to work, back to the old chalk board, and back to fundamentals before they take the field again. This A.W. will be dealt with. It will start with all of the Sled Heads putting “their hands on the line.” They may run sprints until the next NFL week begins on Thursday Night, and nobody wants to be the team that plays the PowerSleds next.  

Armadillos Outscore Dogs:

“What do you have to do to be the lead story in the BDFL?” asked a bewildered Kurt Prewitt after all of the smoke had cleared from Week 10 in the BDFL. When the scoreboard became visible in Duncanville, Texas, it showed: Armadillos 53 – Brookside Dogs 44. It was still sparking. The old, tattered, Lone Star Beer scoreboard at dawn on Tuesday morning was smoking and glowing with the hometown team’s unbelievable results. The ‘Dillos – clearly a lower tier team this season – outscored “Mark’s Mutts” who have been rolling for most of the 2025 season. K.P. & Company said they will stretch the 24-hour celebration rule to at least 48-hours this weekend. As for Mr. Mark Burr, he will once again bury his head in his work with his multiple investments, his Synaflex Rubber conglomerate, has his quickly expanding Flaming Bag Company.  

Fritz Hits on 16 and Edges Gamblers:

A trio of BDFL teams scored 16-points in Week 10 of the 2025 season. Previously mentioned were the Bullets and the PowerSleds who lost via an A.W., with their opponents (Freebirds & Wildcats) scoring in the 40’s. There was however one team that scored exactly 16-points this past weekend and came out “smelling like a rose.” That team was the Druid City Blitz. Jerry Fritz’s team escaped with a narrow vict’ry over the Gulf Coast Gamblers. So, the “Gritz Blitz” received a gift from the Dreaded Schedule Maker (DSM). Jerry also picked up a gift beer – or two – at 16 Audubon on Saturday prior to the Bama vs. LSWho game, and made the pre-game stroll to the stadium with BDFLers: Belrose, Bocephus, and Bullet. One could say that the Gritz paid it forward with tales of his AISA prowess at nearby Tuscaloosa Academy, and his double ejection in a game back in the 1980s vs. the Rebels of Lowndes Academy. All of Fritz’s activities got his team ready for a 3-point win over the Gulf Coast Gamblers, who have already experienced a roller-coaster type season this year in the BDFL. [Note: alternate headline – Fritz Holds on 16 and Edges Dixie Mafia]  

Mukes Mauls Mayors:

Recently, Legion Field hosted its first ever playoff game in the Alabama Independent School Association. It was a good one that went to overtime before Banks Academy defeated Morgan Academy, 22-14. A few days later, the Old Gray Lady was the site of a BDFL match-up between Mukes and the Mayor. The Sloth Monsters came away with a hard-fought 27-17 win over the Cronies. Reports are sketchy, but The Bulletin has confirmed that Mukes and A.A. tailgated at the Tide & Tiger prior to the game, and then participated in post-game activities at Bucket’s old house on the Fultondale-Gardendale line. It wasn’t exactly the Magic City Classic, but both the Three Toed Tree Dwellers and the Mayors had no complaints at the end of the Week 10 action.  

“It’s all about the kids.” - Week 10 in the JrBDFL:

After losing his first eight games of the season, the JrBDFL Commissioner has now won two-in-a-row. The commish in that ESPN-sponsored, cyber league, is Matthew Hand. The Bulletin couldn’t get many other details from Week 10 in the Junior League other than Matthew’s siblings coaching the Benton Bullerflies and the Lowndes County Labs both lost this past weekend. So, it wasn’t a low point for the JrCommish… but, over all in the BDFL it was… low, low, low.  

Lynyrd Skynyrd: The Ballad of Curtis Loew:

Well I used to wake the morning, before the rooster crowed,

Searching for soda bottles to get myself some dough

Brought 'em down to the corner, down to the country store,

Cash 'em in and give my money to a man named Curtis Loew.

Old Curt was a black man with white curly hair,

When he had a fifth of wine he did not have a care.

He used to own an old dobro used to play it across his knees

I'd give old Curt my money he'd play all day for me.

Play me a song Curtis Loew, Curtis Loew

Well I got your drinking money tune up your dobro.

People said he was useless, them people all were fools

'Cause Curtis Loew was the finest picker to ever play the blues.

He looked to be sixty and maybe I was ten.

Mama used to whoop me but I'd go see him again.

I'd clap my hands stomp my feet, try to stay in time.

He'd play me a song or two then take another drink of wine.

Well play me a song Curtis Loew, Curtis Loew

Well I got your drinking money tune up your dobro.

People said he was useless them people all were fools

'Cause Curtis Loew was the finest picker to ever play the blues.

On the day old Curtis died nobody came to pray.

Ol' preacher said some words and they chunked him in the clay.

He lived a lifetime playin' the black man's blues. A

nd on the day he lost his life that's all he had to lose.

Play me a song Curtis Loew, hey Curtis Loew

I wish that you was here so everyone would know.

People said you were useless them people all were fools

'Cause Curtis you're the finest picker to ever play the blues.  

Other Low Songs:

“Low” – R.E.M. (1991) / “Low Rider” – War (1975) / “Low Down Ways” – Marshall Tucker (1979) / “Lowdown” – Boz Skaggs (1969) / “Wolves Lower” – R.E.M. (1981 – Chronic Town) / “Lowlife” – Kid Rock (2022)  / “Low” – Cracker (1993)