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The BDFL's Weekly Game Summaries

By Bob Bullet

Week 4

“I am the Lizard King.  I can do anything,” said Mr. Mojo Risen (Jim Morrison).

Who’s hot?

The Dogs.  Burr’s Bunch from Brookside only scored 29-points in Week Four, but they are now the only undefeated team in the BDFL.  This past weekend Mark’s Mutts mauled the “just say no” Wildcats, who lead a quartet of teams in cellar dwelling.

Who else is hot?

The Wizards.  Merlin the Magician – just like his days with mentor and guru Jimmy Armstrong – was almost “high-point-man” this week with 39-points, continuing what has been a roller coaster, feast-for-famine season in just four short weeks.  Reportedly, Parks was on his back patio in his new palatial Pasco County digs doing the Armstrong warm-up gig after his big Sunday in the BDFL.

Even hotter:

Another Armstrong protégé, Lyle, scores a league-high 46 to earn Top Dog honors for the Blades.  “L.A. Woman Sunday afternoon.  I see you driving through your suburbs into your blue.  Into your blue, blue, blue, into your blue.”  The Juggernauts were at the business end of the Section 69 Sickles on Sunday.

Who’s not?

The Commissioner/Grenades.  He may have the brass at Titans Radio fooled, but he continues to struggle in the BDFL.  Dishonorable mention: Wooden Warriors, Bootleggers, and Mildcats.

Stat of the week:

Donovan McNabb single-handily lifts the Philadelphia Eagles to vict’ry on Monday Night Football and the Cheetahs to a come-from-behind win over the snake bit Mayors.  McNabb: 16 of 30, 288-yards, 2-passing TDs, 2-rushing TDs, equals 18-BDFL points.

Stat of the week II (love/hate of the schedule-maker):

Dogs: 4-0, 104-points, 26.0 avg. per week

Mayors: 0-4, 91-points, 22.75 avg. per week

Play of the week:

David Akers (Slovaks – Eagles) boots 1 FG and 4 PATs to give the Slovaks a MNF magic vict’ry over cousin Kawliga’s Wounded Warriors.

(Bitter) Quote of the week:

“One week I stay sober and don't start Norwood -12 or Rayner - 12 and still counting.  No more will I be/stay sober when sending in the starters,” said Mukes.

Bitter quote of the week II:

“The ONLY DAMN TD that Jordan/OAK has scored this year was yesterday for 59 yards (12 pts) and enough to sink me!” said Tommy T.  The Woosiers were subdued by the Gamblers, and not in a good way.

Slovak Ghetto Quote of the week:

Adam: “it's alabama adventure now and the slovaks are still drinkin', partying, and bein' loud we're back to ghetto but it don't matter cause when we beat the warriors the sheeeet's gonna splatta... peace out. and word to the winnin' streak out for real. big A.”

Reason #173 to be in the BDFL:

You get gangster emails from a Slovak.  That might be a reason to not be in the league.

Edspiration:

“Put your hand on the line,” said Mad Jack.  After a week of wind sprints his Power Sleds ran past the gutless Grenades.  “Gutless,” is a Mac Sanderson trademark term used by the Bulletin without permission.

“Out there” of the week:

A Mukes is a terrible thing to waste.  The Sloth Monsters leave 24-plus points “on the bench.”

“Seinfeld Four” Sit-com moment:

“Hello.  My name is George.  I’m unemployed and I live with my parents,” said Costanza (for his most effective pick-up line ever… because he was doing the opposite).

Generation Next:

The Commissioner’s son, Frank Hand had a solo sack last Monday night for a 9 yard loss.  He plays for Nashville’s Father Ryan Fighting Irish.  “He mauled the QB to the ground with a monster like tackle,” said veteran wolfback/rover Chris.  Rumor has it he could play for the Titans now, and the Grenades for that matter.  Frank is a sophomore and picks a mean guitar.

Next week:

The “winless” Wooden Warriors visit the “undefeated” Dogs on the banks of the Five Mile Creek in Brookside.  Tailgating activities (grilling kielbasa, microwaving pyjochy, popping tops, circling up, etc.) will begin Thursday evening on the correct side of the tracks.

Next week (or the next):

Mad Jack to become a dad again; at age 44 (breaking all BDFL-Blanda marks) Mad and bride Lisa may be checking in this week for child number two, thus having a good reason to miss the Rammer Jammer Rocket Reunion at the T-Town Maxwell House on Saturday, Oct. 7.

Quote of the

Week

“ Reportedly, Parks was on his back patio in his new palatial Pasco County digs doing the Armstrong warm-up gig after his big Sunday in the BDFL”
 

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