THE OFFICIAL INTERNET SITE OF THE BIG DADDY FOOTBALL LEAGUE

 TheBDFL.com           WIZARDZ WINNERZ                 2006

Inside

The BDFL

The Column

of Fame

From The Crystal Ball
The BDFL's Weekly Pigskin Prognostications

By The Wizard

Week 10

Wooden Warriors vs. Sloth Monsters

The Great Wizardo’s “Indelible Fact of Life #4” states that if, “If you’re going to win ugly, win ugly early. That way you get the best of the uglies.” And it would appear that Mike Dismukes and the “Silver Sots” followed the Wiz’s words to the letter after escaping with a win last Sunday versus the Dogs. However, Mukes position atop the Greenhorn Division is in peril with the other three teams in the division now well within striking distance. First up are the suddenly hot “TomaChop Champs” who were chumps as recently as two weeks ago but are now within one game of .500 and have a chance to take down a fellow Green Horn member in the form of the Sloths this weekend to keep their drive alive. Whether or not this is merely a two game rumble or the beginning of a prolonged run is still up for debate. Evidently Jaimie has taken time away from lording over the purchasing department at Children’s Hospital – in addition to propping his feet up on his desk taking kickbacks from unscrupulous vendors, berating his employees with daily tirades, and looking for other forms of graft and corruption to pad his pocket - to threaten enough Wooden Warrior scholarships to push his team back into serious contention. The Wizardo says look for that push to get at least one more good shove on Sunday afternoon.

Wizard’s Winner…the Wooden Warriors.

Cheetahs vs. Grenades

Citadel Broadcasting big wig Chris Hand took to the road this past weekend with the NFL’s Tennessee Titans on their ill-fated trek to Jacksonville. Although Chris was able to remember the Titans, he clearly has forgotten his woebegone Grenades as evidenced by the beating his beloved “Stud Duds” took in Week 9. Not only have the Grenades firmly planted themselves in the cellar of the Graybeard Division, they are also at the bottom of the BDFL peckin’ order as well after a horrid four point performance last Sunday. Any chance at that elusive BDFL title has long since slipped beneath the waves for Chris, courtesy of the Kick-Off Cash curse hurled down by the Wizard, with only the chance to try and spoil the play off hopes of other teams still in play. Fortunately for Chris, he’ll get to see if his new “spoiler” threads are a good fit when he welcomes division rival Butch Neal and his “Tawdry Tabletop Divas” to Brother Ryan Field Sunday afternoon. The Cheetahs lost a heartbreaker in Week 9 but are still poised to get into the newly expanded play off format in search of a third title in four years, which would officially place them in the “dynasty” category. The Cheetahs may pull off the victory and continue their march towards destiny, but Chris will display some of that “Rocket pride”, or at least enough of it, to cover the spread.

Wizard’s Winner…the Grenades.

Wizards vs. Fighting Slovaks

Outside of torturing innocent civilians back in the old country and selling weapons on the black market to the highest bidder, Adam Slovensky and the Fighting Polacks” (Wizard’s Note: The difference between a Polack and a Slovak is much the same as that of a gerbil and a hamster. I’m quite sure a hamster has more white meat. In other words, there is no difference.) enjoy nothing more than besting Merlin and the “Dream Police” in their annual intra-divisional grudge match. Earlier in the season the Slovaks handed the Wizards another bitter defeat that helped launch their bid for BDFL respectability. After being a contender for the throne through the first half of 2006, it appears the Slovaks may be mere pretenders after all if recent performances are any indication. The Slovaks have fallen back to third and are in danger of falling below the much ballyhooed “Bullet line” if they don’t reverse their fortunes quickly. Fortunately for the Slovaks, they are only a few points out of first and a late season charge would be more than enough to catapult them to the top and into the play offs. However, Merlin and the Wizards plan to have something to say about it before the day is done and have visions of shackling the Slovaks to their own iron curtain. It’s not the actual “Iron Curtain” but it does so remind the Slovaks of home and happier times. In the end look for a nail-biter that will end up with the “East Euro Trash” kicking the Wizards to the curb again.

Wizards Winner…the Fighting Slovaks.

Dogs vs. Juggernauts

The Great Wizardo’s “Indelible Fact of Life # 16” states that “whisky bottles, brand new cars, and oak trees don’t mix very well”, but he also says that “lawyers, guns, and money sometimes do”, and after watching Alyson Edwards and her “Angel-eyed Amazons” rip gaping holes in their BDFL brethren over the last three weeks, he may need to add the latter to his list of indelible facts of life. The Nauts are clearly in position to win the Yellow Hammer Division title if they can reach seven wins, something that is still in serious jeopardy after going on a six game winless skid to start the season. Nevertheless, the schedule maker has finally given Alyson some relief, not that she needs it, in the form of Mark Burr’s “Howlin’ Hounds” who have been getting “beyotch-slapped” on a regular basis all year. Don’t expect that trend to change this Sunday.

Wizard’s Winner…the Juggernauts.

Bootleggers vs. Woosiers

Making good on a draft day prediction that his team was designed to peak the last half of the season, Tommy Todd and the Woosiers take on Jon Wood’s “Woozy Boozers” this weekend with a chance to show their fearless forecasting was worthy of even the Great Wizardo himself. If Jon decides he needs a new pair of boots, he need look no farther than the multitude of boots that have been broken off in his backside over the course of the season. Expect the Woosiers to continue charting a course to the play offs by breaking one of their boots off in the Bootleggers as well although fortunately for Jon, they have the same shoe size.

Wizard’s Winner…the Woosiers.

Gamblers vs. Bullets

Kenny Breal and the “Dialin’ ‘8’ Dice Demons” may need to hit the weight room to pump themselves a little before catching the Greyhound Bus headed up Highway 41 to Benton to play the division leading “Shag Kings” because so far in 2006 they have shown little more than warning track power. Unfortunately for Kenny, things won’t get any easier in the spacious confines of Trey Pettimore Stadium where the Bullets have learned that chicks dig long balls and have been making sure to give them what they want in recent weeks. Perhaps knowing that Britney Spears, a fellow Bayou state alum, will be back on the market soon will help salve the wounds the Gamblers will get for their troubles while on the road. All the Gamblers would have to do is make a detour to Kentwood on the way back home, shack up with Britney in her posh digs, contribute his DNA to allow her to squeeze out a couple of more puppies, and cut a quasi-rap record (with Adam Slovensky’s help of course.) before hitting the road with a couple of million in cash for his troubles. It certainly beats working for a living.

Wizard’s Winner…the Bullets.

Blades vs. Wildcats

The main hues the “Technicolor Cats” have seen this year have been the black and blue they have been getting from the beatings administered by their fellow BDFL members this season. However, after being written off for dead earlier in the season, Jerry has spent time under the hood of the “Just Say No” tour bus in recent weeks and may be poised to steal a second straight division title away if the Nauts stumble. Right on his heels are the “Slicers ‘n Dicers” who remain in the thick of the fight as well. The winner keeps their play off hopes alive while the loser puts themselves squarely behind the “8” ball with only four games to play. Both are circling the Nauts like vultures hoping for the additional two necessary losses that would push Alyson over the edge and prime either for taking control of the division. However, they would be well advised to mow their own lawn in the meantime. In the end, expect Lyle to trot out Lorena Bobbit to help Jerry’s gang hit more of those tough high notes with some strategic cuts.

Wizard’s Winner…the Blades.

Mayors vs. Power Sleds

Jack Barnes and his “Raggedy Hobos” have been living a life of luxury on the rails this year after emerging as the strongest team in the BDFL through nine weeks. With five to play, the Sleds have turned their attention to positioning themselves for the play offs with Alan Arrington’s “Politico Porkers” being this week’s fodder to aid them in getting perfectly aligned. The Mayors have already been eliminated from play off contention after a heartbreaking loss last weekend where the schedule maker continued to play cruel jokes on them after setting the Mayors up to lose despite a 32 point effort. A disastrous season has gotten even worse after the Mayors saw many of their political cronies get swept out of office on election day last Tuesday leaving them no one to drown their sorrows with over the remainder of the year. However, the Power Sleds may be discounting the Mayors a little too much and will likely find themselves on the short end of the 7.5 point spread handed down by ELVO.

Wizard’s Winner…the Mayors.

Wizard's Quote

of the Week

"All the Gamblers would have to do is make a detour to Kentwood on the way back home, shack up with Britney in her posh digs, contribute his DNA to allow her to squeeze out a couple of more puppies, and cut a quasi-rap record (with Adam Slovensky’s help of course.) before hitting the road with a couple of million in cash for his troubles. It certainly beats working for a living"

2006 Wisdom

Past Wisdom

2005 Back Big Daddies: w1  w2  w3  w4  w5  w6  w7  w8  w9  w10  w11  w12  w13  w14  w15  w16  w17

The BDFL | Mayors | Grenades | Cheetahs | PowerSleds | Bullets | Gamblers | Bootleggers | Woosiers

Wildcats | Juggernauts | Dogs | Blades | Wooden Warriors | Wizards | Sloth Monsters | Fighting Slovaks

Concept, names, logos and designs are registered trademarks and intellectual property of The BDFL © 2006