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Bullet's

Quote of

Week

 "After the Bootleggers win, there was no problem getting back home to No Teeth Territory.  All they did was put their Big Block Dodge in neutral and let the suction pull them back north, because as we all know, Tennessee Sucks!"

From Underneath The Rock in Media Void

By Bullet Head


Week 10 in the BDFL...


Warriors Score Big – Continue to Roll Toward Big Daddy Bowl

(Pelham)—It hasn’t turned cold yet and that continues to be fantastic news for Kawliga & Company.  Old Bocephus ventured down to Shelby County, to the Ned, (at Tyler Watts Field) this weekend and ripped a new one in the backsides of the Blades.  Hime took L.A.’s sickle, turned it around and used it against him, held it high like Gary “Conan” Carter, and proceeded to administer a big A.W. to the Dull Blades.  The Wooden Warriors now have such a lead in the Green Horn Division, that it may not matter that it’s about to turn cold.

 

Grenades Kick Mayors in Shin

(Magic City)—In the Magic City’s inner city rivalry, Johnny Cockstud went deep time and time again on Sunday to outscore the Cronies.  The Duds now seem to be on a roll that may finally help them pick up some ground in the Geezer (Gray Beard) Division.  And, while it is probably too little, too late for Iron to catch the Cheetahs, a strong finish would help the psyche of the Grenades, which has been in serious trouble since he choked several years ago on the last weekend of the season – after leading the standings the whole year – only to finish second to the Power Sleds.

 

Bullet Shoot Dogs Dead

(Brookside)—The story goes like this:  Bullet went to the Burr Headquarters just on the wrong side of the tracks, on the banks of the Five Mile Creek, several feet from the Brookside ballyard.  He knocked on the door and told Dog, “Man you gotta do something about that barking mutt.”  Dog replied, “I’ll take care of it.”  Dog shut the door and shortly thereafter Bullet heard a loud bang!  Dog came back to the front door holding a smoking gun.  Dog said, “It’s been taking care of.  I always hated that damn dog.”  So, that’s the way it went in Brookside on Sunday.  Mark’s Mutts fired a bullet (not the Bullets) and shot supposedly “one of their own.”  Stunned by the turn of events, the Bullerino left Brookside quietly (if you can believe that) with his vict’ry.

 

Nauts Roar to One Point Win

(Gardendale)—“I am woman, hear me roar.  In numbers too big too ignore.  And, no one’s gonna keep me down again.  Oh, yes I’ve won.  But, it’s me who’s paid the price.  But look how much I’ve gained.  If I had to I could do anything.  I am strong.  I am invincible.  I am woman.”  A.E. had reason to chime out her favorite Helen Redy tune as shoe pranced up the hill at Ed Bruce Stadium after a one-point vict’ry against Merlin and his evil Minions from Greystone.  Parks – apparently forgetting his past – a.k.a. Stephenson, did not remember how to pull out a win in his old stomping grounds and lost a “heart-breaking, gut-wrenching” game to a bunch of girls.  (Better to lose to a bunch of girls though, than to a bunch of Mullets.)

 

Bootleggers Step in Woo

(Smoke Rise)—The Woods Brothers took their “No Teeth Attack” to Smoke Rise this weekend and were warmly welcomed by the backwoods, Blount County country bumpkins that would feel right at home in the hills of Tennessee.  The Whiskey Runners took advantage of the hospitality to notch another vict’ry in the area that they call, “south of the border.”  After the Bootleggers win, there was no problem getting back home to No Teeth Territory.  All they did was put their Big Block Dodge in neutral and let the suction pull them back north, because as we all know, Tennessee Sucks!

 

Sleds Fall to Gamblers

(Fairfield)—The “Blare” may be back for Mad Jack’s Power Sleds, but against some decent competition, the Sleds were forced to turn down their metal music, and sulk to a bitter defeat to the only “other” two-time” champion in the hist’ry of the BDFL.  Kenny may no longer be the “Real Deal” at the top of the rather weak Grey Beard Division.  But, he still knows how to hit you where it hurts.  The Gamblers popped the Sledheads in the wallet this weekend – though reportedly not as bad as Mr. Scrushy – and left the Dolodome with a hard-earned vict’ry.

 

Sloths Almost Shutout by Sin Wagon

(Lake Cyrus)—The Sin Wagon rolled into Lake Cyrus this weekend and laid a huge A.W. on the slumping Sloths.  Reports illustrate that the Three-Toed Tree Dwellers never got up off the couch.  They may have enjoyed a lap dance or two, but they put up practically no competition to the Fancy Felines, who got a “fist full of dollars” from the Sloths and kept rolling on toward what could very well be their first-ever BDFL Championship.  Mukes scored only two-points in the embarrassing loss and saw his chances of competing for a money spot in the Green Horn Division diminished quite a bit.

 

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